Giftastic ACC Power Rankings - Week One

The first week of play for the ACC teams got off to an…interesting start. You had your good and your bad and your OH MY LORD WHAT SPORT IS THIS?

Here’s how your ACC football teams stack up after week 1:

1. Florida State

W @ Oklahoma State, 37-31

A rough start for the Seminoles, taking on a solid Ok. State team on the road. The fighting Jameis Winstons had several miscues but did just enough to come away with the win. What can we say? Y’all just have “it.”


2. Duke

W vs Elon, 52-13

To say Duke looked dominant would be an underestimate. Pathetic FCS competition or not, Duke was on a roll from the kickoff to the final whistle. What you guys have to say to the haters, Duke?


3. Clemson

L @ Georgia, 45-21

Wooooo take that ass whoopin’ and get on back home. This game probably doesn’t mean much for this season’s prospects. You tried to hold it together and well, failed miserably.


4. Miami

Playing Louisville tonight at 8PM in Louisville.

Good luck. They’re right behind you in the Power Rankings and well, that’s the most important gauge of your strength at the moment.


5. Louisville

Playing Miami tonight at 8PM at home.

Hell of an ACC opener for both these teams, which look to be pretty good. Louisville’s favored, so I’d expect they’ll shove Miami out of the way in these rankings next week.


6. Virginia Tech

W vs William and Mary, 34-9

Hey! Offense! But it was against William and Mary, so I’m not terribly sure that it counts. The win does, though. VT gets off the schneid and extends Frank Beamer. So, ya know, there’s that.


7. Pitt

W vs Delaware, 62-0

42 points in the first half and then cruise control to a shutout victory. Flawless opener. Good job.


8. Boston College

W @ UMass, 30-7

You scored 6 points in the first half. I…well, that’s not good, especially against UMass. Not exactly a great way to start, but you finished with a 20+ point victory.


9. North Carolina

W vs Liberty, 56-29

Super blowout! UNC is back! NOPE. You assholes were LOSING this game until Liberty absolutely shat all over themselves. I wanted to like you guys this year, but can tell you’re going to make it very difficult.


10. Georgia Tech

W vs Wofford, 38-19

You, too, struggled with an inferior opponent before waking the hell up in the second half. I can’t get behind a Paul Johnson-coached team anymore, so just expect to be somewhere in the bottom 5 or so in these power rankings all year. Now go away.


11. Virginia

L vs UCLA, 28-20

Let me be clear: I expected the Cavaliers to get railroaded by UCLA. I can’t be sure if it says more about UCLA or UVA at this point in time, but putting 20 points on the board is *something* for Mike London’s team.


12. Syracuse

W vs Villanova, 27-26 (2OT)

I thought you guys were going to be one of the (sorta) good ones. BOY WAS I WRONG. That was shitty. So shitty. It should’ve never been in doubt against Villanova, but you made sure to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Now go sit over there and think about what you’ve done.


13. Wake Forest

L @ Louisiana-Monroe, 17-10

Not even going to waste text on this.


14. NC State

W vs Georgia Southern, 24-23

Lots of folks, myself included, expected State to really get off to a good start this year. This was the opposite of that. Yes, they ‘finished’ and won the game. But let’s get real here. This is still a shitty team that doesn’t get going until late in the second half and will lose several games because of inexplicable reason.


Giftastic Recap of Georgia Southern at NC State

The first game of the season is here and the Pack took on Georgia Southern, who are making the transition from FCS to FBS. Get hype!

State forces a 3-and-out and then gets stopped themselves:

GSU goes 82 yards for a pretty easy score. Capped off by a 61-yard run. The stadium goes from happy about the start of the season to…

NC State responds!..with a field goal:

State’s next 2 drives die while GSU puts up 3 more points to make it 10-3:

Sade misses a FG and GSU responds with a 29-yard touchdown pass to make it 17-3 and oh my god why are we here what is happening:

Sade misses another FG before halftime with State down 14:

Then State scores a touchdown to make it 17-10! Y’all know what time it is?!

And GSU promptly goes down to kick a field goal to go up 20-10:

State scores again! Everybody dance no-..wait, we’re still losing to GSU:

GSU marches down the field and…kicks a field go to up 23-17? Really?

With 3:35 left in the 4th quarter, State gets the ball:


State stops GSU’s attempt at a game-winning drive:

If I had to sum up this game in one gif?


It’s the first week of college football season! Here’s how each fanbase is reacting to this glorious time:

Boston College:



Florida State:

Georgia Tech:



North Carolina:

NC State:




Virginia Tech:

Wake Forest:

A Giftastic Preview of NC State’s 2014 Football Season

NC State looks to bounce back from what was quite possibly the worst start to a new coach’s tenure is quite some time. Doeren finally has ‘the guy’ he wants at QB. Never you mind all the other shit that’s happening w/ the other positions. Let’s take a look at how the season will play out.

Georgia Southern, 2013 Record: 7-4 
Notable Wins: Florida, 26-20

Don’t let the win over Florida fool you. Florida was…not good last year. And GA Southern beat them without completing a pass. Yikes. NC State should win handily.


Old Dominion, 2013 Record: 8-4 
Notables *games*: North Carolina, L, 80-20

Old Dominion is awful. State will roll.


South Florida, 2013 Record: 2-10 
Notable Wins: Cincinnati, I guess?, 26-20

They’ll be better than 2-10. But probably not too much better. State wins.


Presbyterian, 2013 Record: 3-8
Notable Wins: NULL

I’m sorry that people will have paid money to attend this game. W


Florida State, 2013 Record: 14-0
Notable Wins: Yep

HAHAHAHA OMG I CAN’T EVEN. I’ve never been so sure about a loss in my life.


Clemson, 2013 Record: 11-2
Notable Wins: No notable losses

Florida State and then Clemson in Death Valley. THANKS OBAMA


Boston College, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: Only losing to Florida State by 14

The BC folks will tell you they’ll still be good. They lost a ton of offensive production. And also only managed a game above .500 w/ one of the best single-season rushers in history. State will win this game.


Louisville, 2013 Record: 12-1
Notable Wins: *shrug*

Bye Bye Strong and Bridgewater. Hello…Petrino and, uh, another guy. A year of transition for Louisville. They’ll still be good. And juuuust good enough to beat State in a heartbreaker.


Syracuse, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: Almost beating Pitt?

Hopefully not a repeat of 2013’s shitastic meeting between these teams. Can Doeren take the Pack on the road and get a win? I think so.


Georgia Tech, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: Duke, 38-14 (WAIT WHAT)

I don’t even know what Paul Johnson is doing, anymore. And I never know what to expect. But I bet State loses.


Wake Forest, 2013 Record: 4-8
Notable Wins: Maryland?

They’re going to be so, so bad this year. So, so bad. W


North Carolina, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: No additional NCAA Violations, I think

This game. This fucking game. UNC will roll. Guaranteed.


Predicting the ACC Divisions

Everyone has their spin on how they come up with predictions on how this year’s ACC Football season will play out. Ours is no less arbitrary than the rest. We crunched numbers. We pounded beers. And here is what we came up with.



A Smidge Too Early Giftastic ACC Football Power Rankings

ACC Football is still more than a month away, but that doesn’t mean we’re not in full #goacc mode already. Based on no scientific reasoning whatsoever, here’s your preliminary giftastic ACC Football Power Rankings for 2014!

Atlantic Division:

1. Florida State

Defending national champions. Heisman-winning quarterback. Another shot to go undefeated? Maybe. Completely blowing folks up? Definitely.

2. Clemson

The Tigers lose some big-time playmkers (Boyd, Watkins), but return an otherwise stellar group. And the defense should be very good. They could scare some folks.

3. Louisville

The Cardinals are here sort of by default. Because the rest of the Atlantic Division is really, really shitty. Louisville may only be moderately shitty this year due to the parts they’re having to replace. Lost your coach to Texas? We’ve got one coming to the rescue!

4. Syracuse, I guess?

This is where the waters of the Atlantic get murky. Really murky. Let’s just hope Syracuse doesn’t embarrass themselves.

5. NC State

6. Boston College

Have to assume it gets worse for BC this season after a senior-laden squad finished with 7 wins last year. They’ll struggle to adjust.

7. Wake Forest

Woo boy.

Coastal Division:

1. North Carolina

I know. Crazy, right? Marquise Williams returns and a solid, experienced defense are in place. Carolina, like always, has great weapons. But will they work?

2. Duke

Returning division champs bring back the most starters of anyone in the division. Always count on a Cutcliffe offense and the defense is solid. Will there be more good times or more of this?

3. Miami

Loads of talent, but they’re young and return more than half the starters on a defense that was…not very good last year. Will they bring the swag back?

4. Virginia Tech

Look on the bright side, Hokie fans. You’ve been breaking in a quarterback for the last few seasons, so no real changes.

5. Georgia Tech

Vad Lee? He gone. Hambone offense? Still there. Ah well.

6. Pitt

Losers of key pieces on offense and defense and…well…just losers.

7. Virginia

A Giftastic Recap of this Rashad McCants Business

Everything was going pretty well at UNC, considering:

Then Rashad McCants told ESPN’s Outside The Lines that he went from academically floundering to the Dean’s List by taking paper classes, tutor’s writing papers for him, and Roy Williams’ micromanaging:

McCants was all:

Roy Williams quickly released a statement all like:

Not to be outdone, Rashad’s 2005 teammates issued a statement of their own, disputing his claims:

Then Roy sat down with an interview with Jay Bilas, supported by his players, to once again dispute Rashad’s claims:

Chancellor Folt then offered a statement, pleading for patience:

Bubba Cunningham then issued a statement of support for Roy Williams:

But then Rashad McCants went back on OTL, saying Williams was maybe “getting a little old,” that his teammates are there to “protect Roy and his legacy” and that he’s “there to protect the student-athletes.”

….Oh, and he pulled Dean Smith into it, as well…

A Giftastic Recap of my Singles Match with Bret Strelow

Strelow takes hole 1:

I take 2 and 3:

Strelow takes 5 & 7 to go 1U with 2 to play:

But I bounce back and take 8 and tie it up going into 9!

And I promptly NC State Shit all over myself on 9 to lose:

Giftastic Recap of the Triangle Media Ryder Cup

When we first heard the bagpiper:

Whenever the beer cart came around:

Coming out of the first 9 all tied:

When Hayes lost his pants:

Jamie O’Grady’s (@JamieOGrady_) 3-wood to 3 feet from 220 yards:

Going into the Singles all square:

When Team Internet destroyed Team Traditional to retain the Triangle Media Ryder Cup:

Raising money for a great cause:

Quick Gif Recap of My Day Yesterday

Got to work on time, feeling refreshed:

Was absurdly productive:

Had lunch with Richard Averitte:

On the way back, ended up doing $700 worth of damage to my car:

Ended up stuck at the car joint for 5 hours:

Finally make it home in time for my kid’s t-ball game:

Then more stupid dumb car trouble once I got home:

But everything worked out in the end:

Interesting NC State sports commentary. Without the interesting. Follow me on twitter @WXMoose

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