A Giftastic Preview of NC State’s 2014 Football Season

NC State looks to bounce back from what was quite possibly the worst start to a new coach’s tenure is quite some time. Doeren finally has ‘the guy’ he wants at QB. Never you mind all the other shit that’s happening w/ the other positions. Let’s take a look at how the season will play out.

Georgia Southern, 2013 Record: 7-4 
Notable Wins: Florida, 26-20

Don’t let the win over Florida fool you. Florida was…not good last year. And GA Southern beat them without completing a pass. Yikes. NC State should win handily.

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Old Dominion, 2013 Record: 8-4 
Notables *games*: North Carolina, L, 80-20

Old Dominion is awful. State will roll.

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South Florida, 2013 Record: 2-10 
Notable Wins: Cincinnati, I guess?, 26-20

They’ll be better than 2-10. But probably not too much better. State wins.


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Presbyterian, 2013 Record: 3-8
Notable Wins: NULL

I’m sorry that people will have paid money to attend this game. W

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Florida State, 2013 Record: 14-0
Notable Wins: Yep

HAHAHAHA OMG I CAN’T EVEN. I’ve never been so sure about a loss in my life.

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Clemson, 2013 Record: 11-2
Notable Wins: No notable losses

Florida State and then Clemson in Death Valley. THANKS OBAMA

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Boston College, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: Only losing to Florida State by 14

The BC folks will tell you they’ll still be good. They lost a ton of offensive production. And also only managed a game above .500 w/ one of the best single-season rushers in history. State will win this game.

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Louisville, 2013 Record: 12-1
Notable Wins: *shrug*

Bye Bye Strong and Bridgewater. Hello…Petrino and, uh, another guy. A year of transition for Louisville. They’ll still be good. And juuuust good enough to beat State in a heartbreaker.

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Syracuse, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: Almost beating Pitt?

Hopefully not a repeat of 2013’s shitastic meeting between these teams. Can Doeren take the Pack on the road and get a win? I think so.

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Georgia Tech, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: Duke, 38-14 (WAIT WHAT)

I don’t even know what Paul Johnson is doing, anymore. And I never know what to expect. But I bet State loses.

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Wake Forest, 2013 Record: 4-8
Notable Wins: Maryland?

They’re going to be so, so bad this year. So, so bad. W

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North Carolina, 2013 Record: 7-6
Notable Wins: No additional NCAA Violations, I think

This game. This fucking game. UNC will roll. Guaranteed.

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Predicting the ACC Divisions

Everyone has their spin on how they come up with predictions on how this year’s ACC Football season will play out. Ours is no less arbitrary than the rest. We crunched numbers. We pounded beers. And here is what we came up with.

Atlantic:

Coastal:

A Smidge Too Early Giftastic ACC Football Power Rankings

ACC Football is still more than a month away, but that doesn’t mean we’re not in full #goacc mode already. Based on no scientific reasoning whatsoever, here’s your preliminary giftastic ACC Football Power Rankings for 2014!

Atlantic Division:

1. Florida State

Defending national champions. Heisman-winning quarterback. Another shot to go undefeated? Maybe. Completely blowing folks up? Definitely.

2. Clemson

The Tigers lose some big-time playmkers (Boyd, Watkins), but return an otherwise stellar group. And the defense should be very good. They could scare some folks.

3. Louisville

The Cardinals are here sort of by default. Because the rest of the Atlantic Division is really, really shitty. Louisville may only be moderately shitty this year due to the parts they’re having to replace. Lost your coach to Texas? We’ve got one coming to the rescue!

4. Syracuse, I guess?

This is where the waters of the Atlantic get murky. Really murky. Let’s just hope Syracuse doesn’t embarrass themselves.

5. NC State

6. Boston College

Have to assume it gets worse for BC this season after a senior-laden squad finished with 7 wins last year. They’ll struggle to adjust.

7. Wake Forest

Woo boy.

Coastal Division:

1. North Carolina

I know. Crazy, right? Marquise Williams returns and a solid, experienced defense are in place. Carolina, like always, has great weapons. But will they work?

2. Duke

Returning division champs bring back the most starters of anyone in the division. Always count on a Cutcliffe offense and the defense is solid. Will there be more good times or more of this?

3. Miami

Loads of talent, but they’re young and return more than half the starters on a defense that was…not very good last year. Will they bring the swag back?

4. Virginia Tech

Look on the bright side, Hokie fans. You’ve been breaking in a quarterback for the last few seasons, so no real changes.

5. Georgia Tech

Vad Lee? He gone. Hambone offense? Still there. Ah well.

6. Pitt

Losers of key pieces on offense and defense and…well…just losers.

7. Virginia

A Giftastic Recap of this Rashad McCants Business

Everything was going pretty well at UNC, considering:

Then Rashad McCants told ESPN’s Outside The Lines that he went from academically floundering to the Dean’s List by taking paper classes, tutor’s writing papers for him, and Roy Williams’ micromanaging:

McCants was all:

Roy Williams quickly released a statement all like:

Not to be outdone, Rashad’s 2005 teammates issued a statement of their own, disputing his claims:

Then Roy sat down with an interview with Jay Bilas, supported by his players, to once again dispute Rashad’s claims:

Chancellor Folt then offered a statement, pleading for patience:

Bubba Cunningham then issued a statement of support for Roy Williams:

But then Rashad McCants went back on OTL, saying Williams was maybe “getting a little old,” that his teammates are there to “protect Roy and his legacy” and that he’s “there to protect the student-athletes.”

….Oh, and he pulled Dean Smith into it, as well…

A Giftastic Recap of my Singles Match with Bret Strelow

Strelow takes hole 1:

I take 2 and 3:

Strelow takes 5 & 7 to go 1U with 2 to play:

But I bounce back and take 8 and tie it up going into 9!

And I promptly NC State Shit all over myself on 9 to lose:

Giftastic Recap of the Triangle Media Ryder Cup

When we first heard the bagpiper:

Whenever the beer cart came around:

Coming out of the first 9 all tied:

When Hayes lost his pants:

Jamie O’Grady’s (@JamieOGrady_) 3-wood to 3 feet from 220 yards:

Going into the Singles all square:

When Team Internet destroyed Team Traditional to retain the Triangle Media Ryder Cup:

Raising money for a great cause:

Quick Gif Recap of My Day Yesterday

Got to work on time, feeling refreshed:

Was absurdly productive:

Had lunch with Richard Averitte:

On the way back, ended up doing $700 worth of damage to my car:

Ended up stuck at the car joint for 5 hours:

Finally make it home in time for my kid’s t-ball game:

Then more stupid dumb car trouble once I got home:

But everything worked out in the end:

The Panthers 2014 Schedule

@ Tampa Bay:

Detroit:

Pittsburgh:

at Baltimore:

Chicago:

at Cincinnati:

at Green Bay:

Seattle:

New Orleans:

at Philadelphia:

Atlanta:

BYE

at Minnesota:

at New Orleans:

Tampa Bay:

Cleveland:

at Atlanta:

A Giftastic Recap of NC State’s Baseball Season Thus Far

NC State was ranked #10 in the preseason:

Start out the season losing 3-0 to Canisius:

Then they win 14 of the next 15:

Lose 6 in a row (the FSU and Maryland series):

Then get swept by Miami:

Hey! A series win vs Clemson! Are things turning around!?

Except then they’re shutout by ECU and lose the series to Duke in dumb fashion:

Then the ‘Duel at the DBAP’ is cancelled by rain:

Carlos Rodon is 2-6:

Basically, this season is a disaster:

Giftastic Recap of NC State vs Saint Louis AKA A Terrible Thing That Happened

NC State moves on to the round of 64 to take on Saint Louis:

The Billikens open the game with 3 3s:

State battles back to a 25-16 lead:

Eventually pushing to a 30-19 lead with a 3 minutes left in the half:

Saint Louis’ defense the last 3 minutes:

State up 30-26 at the half:

Second half goes swell with State pushing out to a 16-point lead with 8 minutes left:

Then Saint Louis started pressing and NC State was all:

And State shot free throws like this guy washes a car:

Another tall white fellow from the Billikens made it a 2-point game with 48 seconds left:

Warren has a chance to make it a 3-point game:

St Louis ties it:

Game goes to overtime:

Saint Louis goes up 79-75:

TJ steals the ball, scores and fouled!

..but he misses the free throw to tie it:

State loses, 83-80:

Interesting NC State sports commentary. Without the interesting. Follow me on twitter @WXMoose


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